I’ve been pondering self care lately. About two years ago I reluctantly accepted that I would need to take prescription medication for high blood pressure....
Five Stones was a lovely business name with deep meaning. It came from a story about a tribe that would call for the local shaman during childbirth. The shaman would come and knock on the doorway of the birthing area, holding five stones in his hand. This was done to offer protection to the woman as she brought life into the world.
I have been in the birth business as either a doula or a childbirth educator for about 14 years now. It’s been an amazing journey. I am passionate about women and the power they hold in their bodies. It has never felt like work. Part of why it has always been so easy for me is because I was being true to myself. It felt like where I needed to be, where I was called to, and it brought me joy. Being a massage therapist was fulfilling, but it didn’t inspire me in the same way birth work did.
I originally opened the studio not only to provide massage but as a way to have space for teaching my childbirth ed courses and hosting doula meetings. Without realizing, it also started my shift. Running a business takes time and energy. People warn you. They tell you it will take far more time than you ever imagined. You listen and attempt to be cautious with your energy, but until you walk the path yourself you can never really truly understand. I’m enjoying this journey. I enjoy the challenges, but I think as I travel the road I started craving something new to fill my soul. I needed to slow down, disconnect when I wasn’t at work, allow space for myself and my family.
Doula work is spectacular, but it doesn’t allow for slowing down or personal space. It requires you to be on-call 24 hours a day. You check your phone incessantly, it rests near your pillow as you sleep. You drive separate for date night because you could have to leave at any moment. In an attempt to balance that after so many years, I was guided to start my own meditation practice. Meditation forces you to slow down, to pay attention to the breath. To return to your body, yet leave your body at the same time.
Now I feel called to roam in a new direction, drifting away from birth work. Changing the name of the studio is symbolic of my new journey. Breaking the ties to being on-call, breaking the ties to Five Stones, switching gears to focus on massage as I feel pulled in this direction.
The theta state calls to me. I think it calls to a lot of us. We are so over stimulated. We are attached to our devices, to our phones, to our emails. It’s the first thing we do when we wake up in the morning and we check it before we go to bed. We blur that line between work and home much to our own detriment. So I’m looking for theta. I’m looking to slow down, to connect to my subconscious. To hear what she has to teach me.
Theta holds those answers, the answers we can find in deep meditation or a relaxing massage where you almost feel like you float above your body. What does theta have to teach you? When was the last time you disconnected and allowed space to connect deeper? Does theta call to you?